I can tell you that on August 22nd I moved into my new home for the next eight months at Boston College. I can tell you that I met my roommates that day, who I only sort of got along with. I can also tell you that I was sad to say goodbye to my family. But the most important thing that I can tell you is this: I had NO CLUE what was in store for me during my first semester.
My first semester brought more than I could have imagined. There were nights where I stayed up till 4 am talking with my friends, and also nights where I stayed up till 4 am doing school work (sorry mom). There were people I never expected to become so close with, and others who I met for 2 hours in someone’s dorm room and never saw again. There were days where I loved being at school and didn’t think about home, and there were days when all I wanted was to be in my own bed.
But despite all of the ups and downs, I wouldn’t change it for anything. I gained so much knowledge about myself in such a short period. So here’s a look back at what I learned in my first 120 days in college:
It will be fun, just wait
The first couple weeks of college for a freshman are exciting because typically you get to campus before the other students and have a couple of weeks jam-packed with events showcasing everything campus has to offer. Add to that meeting tons of new people from all over the globe and all different lives. AND you aren’t in class yet, so there’s no homework! What could be better?!
Unfortunately, after a couple of weeks, classes start, and everyone starts forming their routines. There are no more Tuesday nights on the basketball courts outside your dorm meeting friends. No more scheduled events every single second of the day. No more unlimited free time.
This is when I started to have a hard time. I was lonely because I hadn’t made any real friends yet, I was homesick and missing my family, and I was overwhelmed by the amount of work I had. And honestly, even though I started hanging out with a great group of people and figuring out the academics, I trudged through this state until the beginning of November. Sure, there were fun moments and great weekend nights, but I didn’t feel like I belonged there yet. I was waiting, and it sucked.
Slowly but surely, as I got more involved with clubs and became better friends with the people in my classes and extracurriculars, things started getting better. And once it slowly started getting better, it was all uphill from there, to the point where I was sad to leave my friends and my life here on campus when I left for winter break.
You aren’t weird if you do things by yourself
When I was starting at school, one BIG hurdle that I had to get over was learning how to go to the dining hall and eat by myself. I’ll be honest, there were some nights when the people I was hanging around with had already eaten without me, and to not seem “weird” for going to get dinner alone, I skipped a meal even when I was really hungry.
There were also weekend nights when I was exhausted from the week before and not up for more awkward small talk, so I stayed in by myself. However, the entire time I sat in my bed watching a movie or getting ahead on work or whatever it was that I was doing to pass the time, I was drowning in FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) and anxious that people would forget about me or think I was odd because I chose to stay in and take care of myself.
However, food and self-care are two essential things, especially for college students. So I had to become comfortable doing these things by myself. And it wasn’t easy. It took a lot of encouragement from friends from home that I trust and love, and inner strength to do what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it, and not care about whether I had the security blanket of a group and public approval or not. And slowly but surely, eating alone wasn’t a hurdle anymore. As the semester went on, sometimes I would go to the dining hall alone, but as I made more friends, I was almost sure to see a friendly face to eat with. However, even if I didn’t, it became no big deal.
The right group of friends makes everything better, but it takes work
The beginning of my first semester, I was a sampler. I sampled friends. Spent a few nights with this group, and that group, and this girl and that girl. I was searching. None of them seemed quite like the right fit, and it severely contributed to my loneliness. In hindsight, this was the perfect way for me to find what I was looking for, but it wasn’t easy.
I had to reach out to others that I knew from this class or that club to see what they were doing each weekend. I didn’t have a set group of friends that I could rely on. Yeah, sometimes I felt like an awkward extra. But by the end of the semester, it was all worth it.
Every Thursday, I would ask people in class what they were up to and see if I could squeak an invitation. I had to come up with plans and see if anyone wanted to come along. I hung around with any smiling face that I saw. A couple of times, I even invited myself along, with the enthusiasm of the other, on someone’s weekend adventure off-campus. I walked to a football game alone once and hung out the entire time with someone I vaguely knew, but eventually ended up becoming great friends with. I said yes, whenever the occasional invite was thrown my way, even if I was tired. I even went to a horror movie (and then didn’t sleep for days), just because someone invited me!
But once I found a group of girls that I could rely on, who became my best friends, everything changed. All of the hard work paid off. Now I have girls that are like sisters to me, who will stay in watching hallmark movies and doing facemasks, or go out on an adventure in Boston, or be spontaneous and silly with me whenever the moment is right.
Academics are difficult, and it takes hard work and discipline to do well
When I was entering college, I knew that academics would be hard, but I didn’t really know what that meant until I got there. In college, academic work is very different than high school. For small assignments, you are typically given a week to do them if there are small assignments at all. More important papers will be given a month in advance. And exam schedules are given out on your first day of class in the syllabus. However, these are given with so much time because they are challenging.
This type of schedule requires a lot of planning and discipline to get your work done. Could I do this entire problem set in one night if I only got 3 hours of sleep? Yup. Is it a better idea to spread it out over a week, doing a little bit at a time? Oh yeah. Honestly, this was something that I struggle with in college but work on every day. I find it helpful to plan out my whole week over the weekend. I break up assignments into individual sticky notes on the days that I will do them. The hardest part is sticking to your schedule because there is no one holding you accountable, but it will save you so much sleep and sanity if you do.
It is all going to be okay. It gets better.
Was the beginning of my freshman year easy? Nope, not in the slightest. Was it so much better by the end of my first semester? Oh yeah. This knowledge is something that every older student has told me, and now I know it myself to be true. It always gets better. Transitioning to new things is hard, but once you get settled, which may take some time, it will be great. I can’t wait for the next three years because I know that it will keep getting better every single year.
If you’re getting ready for your first semester of college, be excited! It’s an amazing time and a totally new experience. However, it’s okay to be nervous and a little unsure of how everything will play out. If you’re in or just finishing your first semester, don’t forget my last point. It’s always going to get better, and you should look forward to the fun times to come!